five ways to show people you love them


Hi Friends, Happy Sunday!!

This weekend I had my first evening out since having Lily, and I have to say it was much much needed.  We were able to score last minute concert tickets (to Snoop Dog) and my dad was able to watch Poot for the evening. It was so nice to get out and spend quality time with my man and interact with other adults, childless.

Don’t get me wrong, I missed my little babe! But at the same time I knew she was safe, comfortable, content, and that us having an evening apart would be super beneficial fo the BOTH of us.  It gave me an evening to think and focus on other things, prioritize other people (including myself), for the first time in a long time. It gave me the opportunity to wake up (tired) but mentally refreshed, revised, and ready to give extra loving to my baby!

Ive been thinking lately what it really means to love someone. I mean, love as a parent is so so instinctual, yes, but it does it takes a conscious effort at times to control the overwhelming feelings that our daily lives can sometimes bring. The other day I was thinking of relationships – the ones we have with our children, our parents, our friends, and our significant others.  what it really means to love someone.

” I love you”

its only three words, but whats the difference between speaking them and meaning them?

its funny to me – the power and pointlessness of these three little words.

We can tell people we love them all we want, but what does it mean if our actions don’t fall in line with our words? Why can it be so hard to tell the people we actually love that we love them, yet we can pass it off to someone we’ve never met via social media.

Ive come to realize words are just words without intent. Love is work. When you’re telling someone you love them, your committing to put in the effort, sacrifice, and comprise that love needs. Love can be hard and love can be confusing. Love varies. Not everyone needs to be loved the same.  Although it isn’t always easy, here are five ways I have learned to *try* and show active love to the people around me:

  1. Listen to Listen – Not to Respond …  this ones so important. I feel like a lot of the time when we get into a conversation with someone, we often listen to what they’re saying so we can wait for them to finish talking and we can give our response. I know for me, it can take a long time to get my actually point across when I’m trying to explain my feelings or emotions to someone, and the last thing that will make me feel heard is someone immediately diverting the conversation. When having a conversation with the people we love, I think its super important to make a conscious effort to LISTEN when they’re talking to you. At the end of a long day, it can be super easy to let what they’re saying go in one ear and out the other – but taking the time to really listen to the people around you is so important. One day we could kill to listen to their rant. let them rant.
  2. When You Don’t Understand – Ask … I think its so easy to fool ourselves into thinking we understand how another person feels, when in reality the human mind is SO complex. Our loved ones often come to us in times of need for comfort, support, and reassurance. It can be easy to agree and move on with life, but issues often re-arise. Did we really understand what they were going through? Did we bother to inquire if we didn’t? Did we let a bigger issue slide because it was easier than taking the time to understand?  It isn’t always easy trying to understand someone else thought process, but if we love them – its always going to be worth asking about.
  3. Talk about The Peeves – We all Got Em’ … Ok so this is something I’ve recently drawn attention to. We all have our weird pet peeves. Lets just talk about them? lets just respect them?  So there are weird random little things that piss us off like no other. I hate food being left on my nightstand. I hate my ears being touched. I need to make the bed in the morning or I’m stressed out lol.  I feel like the more upfront we are about our weird little quirks, the stronger the relationships become. How cool is it that we all have our own weird little things, and that we have such amazing people that we can let into our weird little worlds.  Learning these little things about each other builds such a strong bond. Nothing makes me feel more loved than when I come upstairs and my beds been made because my man KNOWS thats important to me! (and who are we to judge what makes someone else feel a certain way, right?!?!)
  4. Respect Drawbacks – Trust Your Bond … Life gets hard. Life gets busy. Life gets stressful and life gets slipped away at times. Sometimes life gets in the way and you finally have plans to see them and they get canceled. DO NOT take it personally. As someone with severe bad luck and extreme inconsistency, I have to say one thing I’ve learned is the people who are meant to stay as a constant in your life will. The people I consider myself closest with in life aren’t necessary the ones I see the most or talk to the most often – but when were together my heart feels full. I don’t feel guilty bailing when Lilys acting up, or when I’m just having a straight up crappy day.  When I was younger, my mindset was always: “the people I’m hanging out with the most with right now are the people I’m closest to” and thats just not the case.  The people we really love are always going to be in your corner – some friends I don’t talk to for weeks on end, and instead of thinking its because of ME and striking doubt in my mind about our bond – I try and love them by RESPECTING their distance and trusting our relationship. It is easy to a good relationship with the people we require to see frequently – but the loving bonds that survive periods of isolation and drawback – those are held together by LOVE.
  5. Ask What They Need – Require what you do ..  from personal experience, loving someone isn’t easy. Why do we make it harder than it needs to be? Why do we feel the need to guess? it’s so much easier to ask whats required from our loved ones to feel secure and happy. Do they need to be constantly told you love them? Do they need to be shown through physical touch? Do they need to be reassured through coffee making or morning texts? ask!!! What do YOU need to feel loved? you’re not selfish for requiring the type of love you do.  The right person is not going to make you feel bad for requiring a love that makes you happy – if thats in a partner, a friendship, or any relationship.


These are just a few prompts to evaluate how you love the people you love. How do you show love? What do you require to really feel loved?

We need to learn to love with the intent to love.

We need to learn to love ourselves.






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