Reasons a Mama needs “me time”

Hi friends, thanks for coming by and “Happy Sunday!”

Do me a favour, and take a moment while you’re reading this little shpeeel of mine to take a few deep breaths. For just a brief moment, shut your eyes, take a deep breath in and out. I know sometimes I need to be reminded to do that throughout the day.

Its crazy to me how something as simple as taking a second to focus on yourself (even if its just recognizing something as underlaid as your breathing habits) can change your whole attitude.

Taking a step back is sometimes the BEST way to move forward.

The past couple weeks have been a little bit on the rockier side – Lily has been teething like crazy and to top it off I feel like this household has been fighting the “seasonal flu” for one to many seasons now if you ask me! She’s going through one of those phases where she changes her mind on what she wants faster than I can fulfill her needs.  She’s been waking herself up in the middle of the night grumpy and inconsolable. I know there are different views on the cry it out method – but for me personally, as much as ill let her do her “grumpy talk” on her own in the crib for a bit to self sooth, I cant stand hearing my little babe screaming from discomfort and pain – as I know, this is the only way she knows how to communicate with me.

I think about the past two weeks, the loss of sleep, the more than average “daily”  dose of comforting the ones closest to me –  the decline in my personal self care.

I have seen mothers who pour everything, into their children.  Mothers who have died, for their children. Mothers who have suffered, for their children.

I see mothers who give the last of the food off of their plate, for their children.

the clothes off their back, for their children.

I see mothers who give their time, grace, and patience with situations that others would find infuriating, because of the unconditional LOVE for their children.

I see mothers travel unimaginable distances and fight unimaginable fights for their children.

I see mothers who are sick for months on end (and if you happen to be like me – in the unlucky few % that has HG during your pregnancy – you’re sick the whole time) just to create, nourish, and sustain their children.

I see mothers who give the last dime out of their pocket to give their child the best of the best.

I see mothers whose children are screaming in a Walmart parking lot

I see mothers whom are pulled over on the side of the road, in the backseat of their car, nursing their children.

I see the mothers whose choices aren’t agreed upon, I see the criticism bouncing off your back on the daily.

I see the mothers who jump up the second their child makes a peep, and I see mothers who are okay letting their child cry it out a bit.

and you know what, Mama?

ALL of these mothers are doing exactly what they should do – being the person they need to be for THEIR baby.

 

Raising a little human is a F U L L    T I M E.   J O B.

And you cant give your best work if you don’t take a break to refuel.

You do NOT

*I Repeat YOU DO NOT have to feel guilty about taking the time to re charge and take care of  yourself.

When you become a mom, its so easy to let that become the biggest most important part of your life. The moment lily was born was by far the most life changing thing that has ever happened to me.  Every moment since then has revolved around her – I literally mean that, she’s my entire world. I cant even begin to express or explain the amount of hell and high water I would go through for her (well besides the fact that I pushed her massive bean and shoulders out of my vagina ?? ouch?)

As I’ve mentioned before (but ill say it again): the first few weeks of motherhood are blurry. Beautiful but blurry.

When lily was about a month and a half old, I was feeling pretty down and low. Not at all any less in love with my little human, but not nearly as in love with myself.  I wasn’t as happy, as cheerful, I just wasn’t the person I wanted to be. I couldn’t tell you what exactly switched around my thought process really, other than a simple quote I saw somewhere on the internet that said “children don’t listen to us, they imitate us”

This really stuck with me.

Yes lily is only four and a half months old. But this has been the fastest four months of my life. Before I even realize it, I know she is going to be walking, talking, and ahhh I don’t even want to think about when we switch her from a crib to a big girl bed.  It dawned on me shortly after reading that, that in order for lily to become the most beautiful, happy, bright version of herself, I need to show her where she came from, who her mother is, who I am.

I was someone before I became her mother – and yes, lily is %110 the best part of me now: but I have so many other passions. So many other qualities and so many other dreams, goals, and ambitions! and in order for me to work towards those dreams, goals, and ambitions, I need ME time.

I need time to express myself; a creative outlet – thats what this has kind of become for me, so if you take a second to read my words: thank you thank you thank you.

I need time to go for walk and get fresh air.

I need time to shower or have a long hot bath.

Ive come to realize those things RE fuel me. They make my mind, body and soul feel better.

If I want Lily to grow up confident, ambitious, and passionate enough to chase her dreams, I have to show her that becoming a mother hasn’t caused me to give up on mine – if anything, it has made me motivated as hell to become the absolute BEST version of myself. For the first time in my life, it doesn’t matter to me if the outcome isn’t what I hoped for, it doesn’t matter to me if I fail. What matters to me now is that my daughter grows up watching her momma work her ass off for what she believes in, speaking her mind despite if no ones around to listen, and is constantly working to better herself even if that means taking an L or two.

How do you recharge yourself?

Once you’ve answered that question, you take the time, and you CHARGE, Mama!

Ill say it again for the people in the back: Having passions and focuses outside of motherhood DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOM.

Taking “ME” time, may be the best thing you can do for your babies.

How do you expect to pour from an empty cup?

We can plant a flower, but if the roots aren’t well embedded in the soil,

the plant isn’t going to have a chance to thrive  – the plant cant put all its energy towards growing the flower, it needs to save some for the roots, it needs to replenish. We as mothers (who’s worlds revolve around our babies) need to make a conscious effort to direct some of our energy towards ourselves, too.

When we are burnt out from putting every single ounce of energy we have into everything and everyone, we are simply not the best version of ourselves. We pour and pour and pour, and yes that grass is green but the flower isn’t going to grow as tall and as bright as it could!

It needs the roots to hold it down when its windy. It needs the roots for nutrients, support, and completion.

After all, without the root there wouldn’t be no flower.

Without you,  everything would be different.

So take a minute, Mama, because you really do deserve it – and if anyone says differently, why you ask them to babysit for an evening?

how hard can it be, its JUST motherhood 😉

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Anyway,

Talk soon Loves,

Tay

2 thoughts on “Reasons a Mama needs “me time”

  1. Hi Taylor and Lily
    That was beautiful and Fantastic
    Are you sure you weren’t also meant to have another career as a writer
    You have so much heart and passion
    Thank you
    That was beautiful
    Judy and Ken ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

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